Hopefully this doesn't become an annual thing

Ironically enough, I feel the colder afternoons and nights more strongly now than when I felt them last December, though summer is supposed to be just around the corner.

I really wonder how some people I know were able to get through the same... bitterness (there, I've said it) I'm feeling now. I look at them and they're happy, they're fine. How in the name of strawberry KitKats were they able to last those thirty, forty, fifty years when I'm just approaching my mid- twenties, and I'm borderline suicidal?

On some days (and when sappy events come a-knockin', like ol' Valentine's here, yay) I keep telling myself that I won't cry, but when the night clock strikes eleven, twelve... I'm all curled up on my bed, sobbing, with only my plush dolls to keep me company. Heck, the tears are falling fast even as I'm typing this rant.

My brother in the next room is probably exchanging friendly messages with the teenage girl he met with for his school assignment. When I was that age, getting passing grades and not getting my ass handed to me by my parents was my assignment.

The reading for my Chinese zodiac said that I'm fine with being alone, because it goes with my personality- admittedly, a lot of people would not dare approach a dragon, be it a sleeping one or not.

But why do I feel so empty inside?

I reflect on it, thinking, Maybe it's my personality. No one likes me because I'm too brash, I'm too shy, I'm too aloof. I'm always too everything. Someone on the toy collector forums I'm a member of even commented that "maybe I scare guys off."

So I try and change myself, thinking someone would like the new me.

If I was successful, I wouldn't be typing this.

I've lost count of the number of times the cycle has repeated itself. Is it because of karma? Is it because of the number of times I've seen couples on jeeps, on streets, in shops, and thought, Why does that girl have a special someone, but I don't? She's not as tall as me. Her teeth are more crooked than mine. Her skin is worse than mine. My grades are higher than hers.

But somewhere, in the back of my mind, a thought comes charging through to slap me, humble me. But she's loved by more people.


That usually shuts me up.

It also has the added bonus of bringing out the "bitchier" me or the more "depressed" me, depending on the day of the month. I guess I'm lucky I'm still able to get home in one piece.

...

I'm a little calmer now. I'm glad that I made this post. Hopefully I've released some of my anger onto the keyboard and into my words.

Of, for the love of-

Turn that darn thing off, I don't want to hear "Marry Your Daughter", dognabbit.

As if I haven't had enough of my engaged and married friends on Facebook-

(sighs)

So... I know I'll be bawling again later this night, and that I surely won't be a sight for sore eyes tomorrow morning, but I'll keep on wishing...

... that I won't get desperate enough to make a suicide pact. Pathetic, I know, but I've long accepted that about myself. The "being single since birth" thing? Not yet.

 

 In hindsight, maybe that's exactly the reason why fate doesn't want me to find someone:

Me + Toriumi Kousuke= world overpopulation

Whoops. What I meant was:

Me + a male version of me = world anarchy

So I'm stuck with cats? But I don't wanna be stuck with cats. You can't keep me content with just cats. I can't hug them.


Fate, if I ever get the chance to meet you, I'm going to tear your hair out and sock you a good one or two. Then I'll apologize. Duh.

P.S.
Basta pag ako naging pangulo ng Pilipinas gagawin kong punishable offense ang PDA.

You're not hiding anything, are you?

Took down my latest (offensive) post. AdSense doesn't seem to like it. Plus, I might have written some things (that I regret writing now) in the heat of the moment. Oh well (shrugs).

Random thoughts

Exactly what it says on the lid.



- you'll never know if you can finish a whole stuffed crust pizza by your lonesome until you try
- the yummiest kinds of food are often swimming in grease and sugar
- working from 8 to 5 with no one to talk to can drive you crazy (crazier, actually)
- if a random stranger touches you on the waist as you're alighting from a jeep, you should slap him on the face
- add 100 points if you can sneak in a punch
- if you're fuming mad, there's a 50 % chance that you look your best
- the other 50 % means you look your worst
- there are just some things that aren't meant for you, like a 400- peso keychain

Things that make me go squee

Trivia: A few things that makes me think I have more in common with (some) humans who have X and Y chromosomes instead of those with two X's:

1. My real name sounds like a guy's name
2. Saying things straight to the point to the extent that I come across as blunt (sadly. I'm working on this though ^^)
3. One of the best ways to my heart is through these:





 and  

So while pretty trinkets and great bargains on figures make me go







and





I love the fact that edible treats are just a footbridge away from where I work. :D In this post, I'll try to give a quick review for each. Scores will be given based on the presentation, flavor, and price. Parang pro- reviewer lang. LOL.


(Note: Please don't mind how goofy Kousuke-sama Toriumi Kousuke looks like. He does that on a regular basis.)


Flavored KitKats (featured flavors: Cookies and Cream, Strawberry)

For those who haven't set foot into the world of flavored KitKats, Nestle Japan churns out a dozen new flavors (aside from the usual chocolate/ white chocolate) or so every year. Ever wondered what KitKat with pepper tastes like? Or how about a Banana KitKat? Nestle Japan has got you covered. MoshiMoshi (a Japanese- themed restaurant at Katipunan's Regis Building) sells some of these... exotically- flavored KitKats. The last time I was there (which was yesterday ^^), they still had Yubari Melon and Apple KitKats. Uh, no thanks. I'll stick with Strawberry. XD

Cookies and Cream KitKat  




 
Presentation: The Cookies and Cream KitKat wafers came in a cute box, in a shade of robin- egg blue similar to (or maybe darker than) those pretty little boxes from Tiffany's. Both sides of the box have "Cookies and Cream" written in Katakana, under the KitKat logo. Each box has six individually- packed mini- wafers. Nutritional info and ingredients are printed in Kanji, Hiragana and Katakana.  


Score: 4/5. They could have printed some of the info in English/ other languages, but I guess Nestle Japan doesn't expect these flavored KitKats to be sold overseas (which is a bit sad, since there's quite a lot of people eager for these things).  

Flavor: I expected these to taste similar to white chocolate KitKat. They didn't. They tasted a bit like milk, in the sense that these aren't as cloyingly sweet as white chocolates usually tend to be. However, I wasn't able to taste the cookies at all.  

Score: 4/5. One point was omitted for the lack of the cookie flavor.

Wallet damage Price: P100.00 per box. Makes you go ouch if you want a big box of these (One big box= 10 smaller boxes), but quite reasonable if you just want to try out the new flavors. Sharing a box (and the cost) might be a good idea though. XD Based on a few comments I've seen on the Net, I think MoshiMoshi sells their KitKats for a lower price than those found in other Japanese food stores.  

Score: 3.5/5 (I'm generous with scores, I know). I'm grateful enough that flavored KitKats are available in Katipunan and that I don't have to go all the way to Greenhills just for a small box. However, maybe MoshiMoshi can sell the KitKats at an introductory price first? (Or maybe not. The KitKats are usually sold out in a day or two after arrival at the MoshiMoshi store.)

Total score: 11.5/ 15


Strawberry KitKat




 
Presentation: I prefer the pink box of the Strawberry KitKats over the Cookies and Cream box, if only because it looks girlier (which suits the flavor, I guess). The Kanji for strawberry (ichigo) is written on the front, along with the Hiragana for heart (kokoro) and some other Kanji I can't read/ find in my dictionary. A space at the back is provided for a short message. Based on what I've read, Nestle Japan usually launches new strawberry/ cherry KitKat flavors come high school entrance exam months in Japan. Spaces are provided on each box for parents and other well- wishers to wish students good luck. As with the Cookies and Cream box, nutritional info and ingredients are written in a mix of Kanji, Hiragana and Katakana. Two packs are in each box; each pack contains two wafer fingers.  


Score: 4/5.

Flavor: These tasted a little sweeter than the Cookies and Cream ones, and to be fair, the chocolate did taste like strawberries. Smelled yummy too. Then again, I'm biased towards anything flavored with strawberries, so maybe I'm not being as objective as I should be.  

Score: 4.5/5. Make the chocolate thicker and I'll add a .25.  

Price: Just like the Cookies and Cream KitKat, a box costs P100.00... and only four wafers are in each box. However, the wafers are sized "normally" compared to the mini- wafers in the Cookies and Cream variant.  

Score: 3.5/5.

Total score: 12/ 15 (Heh. So much for being fair.)


Verdict: Recommended for other Japanophiles like me or if you want something a little different from your usual KitKat.


Coming soon: A review of some baked goods from Mom & Tina's and moar ToriKou pictures for your viewing horror

I've got a clown hammer and I'm not afraid to use it

Hey, couples, cut it out with all your inappropriate PDA. Hugging/ holding hands is okay but groping, rubbing noses, making out and kissing every 5 seconds or so are not. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every PDA-ing couple I've seen on the morning and evening commute, I could go to Japan and stalk Toriumi Kousuke already. (I'd be able to afford the return ticket home too, if I had a dollar for every time I've given said PDA-ing couples the stink eye, just like a disapproving grandma. All my textbook Virgo shyness just flies out the window.) Please. Think of the children!

Anti- stress therapy: read something smart about something dumb

One of my anti- stress reads: The Sparkledammerung! (The best way I can describe this is that it's basically a summary of the Twilight series... on crack)

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html - Twilight

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317857.html - New Moon

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/318658.html - Eclipse

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/319735.html - Breaking Dawn

Side note: I can't believe I used to read that drivel. The fact that I can still recall the titles even if I haven't touched the books in years means the poison is still in my system.

Figure photography

Had one of my rare free days last Sunday, so I decided to take shots of some of my birthday (figure) loot:


Saitou and Miles here are some of my older figures, but they're just as gorgeous as my newer ones:


Forgive the low quality, all of them were shot inside my ghetto lightbox that was hastily put up in ten minutes :P

The weird thing is, the shots I made with just my camera's flash (which is a major no- no for taking most pictures, or based on what I've read, anyway) came out better:



I'd like to think that I can improve with a little practice, though :)