I've got a clown hammer and I'm not afraid to use it

Hey, couples, cut it out with all your inappropriate PDA. Hugging/ holding hands is okay but groping, rubbing noses, making out and kissing every 5 seconds or so are not. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every PDA-ing couple I've seen on the morning and evening commute, I could go to Japan and stalk Toriumi Kousuke already. (I'd be able to afford the return ticket home too, if I had a dollar for every time I've given said PDA-ing couples the stink eye, just like a disapproving grandma. All my textbook Virgo shyness just flies out the window.) Please. Think of the children!